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[trepidations]

Player Info

Name: Sey
Age: 25
Contact: cyclical | litanytotime @ gmail & aim
Characters Already in Teleios: n/a
Reserve: reserve

Character Basics:

Character Name: Peter Pettigrew
Journal: trepidations
Age: 16
Fandom: Harry Potter
Canon Point: Just before summer break after 6th year.
Debt:

Class A: 1 year
Class B: 3 Years
Class C: Total of Class C crimes here

► not standing up for himself, becoming an illegal animagus, sneaking out, lying, pranking innocent students, breaking curfew, disrespecting professors' instructions, failing to do homework, under age drinking, giving up on work/self, encouraging delinquent behavior

GRAND TOTAL: 6 years, 5 months

Canon Character Section:

History:

► General info @ HP Wikia
► Addition info from mun here.

Personality:

Sweet and slightly aloof, Peter has some major personality flaws that can't be overlooked: he can be a bit of a pushover and can't say no to anything, regardless of the consequences he knows he'll eventually face. He wants very much to live up to his parent's expectations and, when at school, his friends'. Knowing he has no real winning qualities, and wanting to better himself, he blindly follows the influences of James and Sirius. He is particularly fond of James, who seems chivalrous and charming, and everything Peter strives to be. Not only does James come from a very wealthy and well-known family, he is also the most popular student in Hogwarts. Peter takes a great deal of time trying to appeal to him in order to win his favor.

While Peter can be insecure, overly emotional at times, he is also very socially awkward and sweet in nature. He does not know how to interact socially with other students, and relies heavily on his friends' popularity to aid him throughout the school day. That is not to say, however, he thinks of his friends in a completely positive light. He does harbor feelings of resentment and jealousy for his friends, wanting to be more like them instead of constantly living in their shadows. He wants to be able to prove himself capable of obtaining his own friends with his own charm and wit, rather than having some form of popularity because of his friends. He suspects they befriended him out of pity, and while that idea does bother him some nights, over all he cares for his friends, but moreover cares for their good wit, charm and reputation.

Peter is smarter than often given credit for, and often downplays his knowledge or talent because compliments or attention focused solely on him makes him more than uncomfortable. He does not know how to handle compliments, and does not trust that they are said out of good will and kindness. In fact, he is often paranoid, and questions people's true intentions. Once he got into the work of Hogwarts, and especially when he accomplished becoming an animagus, Peter discovered that with a little hard work, nothing was completely beyond his reach, no matter what anyone else said. It is difficult to say that Peter was a particularly unskilled wizard as well because he did successfully find an animagus for himself, even if he had the help of his friends as well. It is a difficult charm, no less for a second year student. He also aided in the creation of the Marauder's Map, which shows some prowess with magic. If he is intrigued and compelled by the subject, he is hardworking, but if he finds it too strenuous, he only just passes.

He's also a very nervous and worrying type of person. Peter can't decide if he's more worried about what people will do to him, or what they will say about him when his back is turned. He often goes out of his way to please his small group of friends, even if it means he will have to regroup or stay up late to do something for himself or for his school work.

He tries his best to put up a good face and appear tough, but as he is easily intimidated by pretty much anyone. When there is no James or Sirius there to back him up, Peter is a bit of a coward, and completely unable to stand up for himself. Peter, while not at all bookish, can, when he puts his mind to it, study and pass. He is often distracted however, by the needs and wants of his friends, always willing to impress them first and worry about his own tasks after. The more interested he is in something, the easier it is for him to concentrate on and understand, which is why Potions and Transfiguration are his best scores. They are very methodical and careful subjects, ones that he can focus solely on the instructions and the form, instead of pure wit or gusto. He often times will disregard homework as well if James or Sirius tell him to do something different -- he is easily swayed away from his work to please them, even though he cares deeply about his marks. Some childhood experiences have left Peter more timid than he would have been otherwise, and being as shy as he is, hinders him a great deal in the real world. He is always worried what other people are thinking of him, and tends to behave how he thinks others would.

It is this same intimidation that likely led him to follow the Dark Lord, and instill utter fear of the future into him. Despite the other marauders being his dearest friends, the fear of a greater and more significant power makes it difficult for the easily pliable and terrified Peter to remain loyal to his friends who, in the face of darkness, no longer hold as much popularity or power. It is this fear of what others may think, and what may inevitably happen to him in the future for following his heart, that serves as Peter's greatest flaw. Although he is loyal to his friends in school, and to his family, should a moment arise where Peter would benefit more from a stronger power or personality, he would likely turn to that, not knowing what other option he would have.

Peter, throughout the books, is depicted through his uncertainty and weakness. He was lucky enough when he arrived at Hogwarts that he fell into being friends with James, Sirius and Remus, who all possess something he does not. Even McGonagall said that he was seen too often trailing behind Sirius. They have charm, wit, courage, strength -- they are essentially polar opposites of Peter. However, this does not necessarily make Peter a bad person to begin with. This self-consciousness and worrisome nature only magnify his need to be socially accepted. He is a social climber, in some ways, always seeking out the best of the best to associate himself with, so that he is out of the line of fire. He is, essentially, a coward. He has all the potential to be brave and courageous like his classmates but, instead, chooses the easier path. Peter, unfortunately, will always choose the path that seems easier, less painful. He had protection with his Marauder friends, why would he stand up to them when they were teasing him? He simply wouldn’t so that he could avoid any possible conflicts.

It takes a lot of fear and selfishness for Peter to betray the Potters. When he decides to turn against the Order, and become a Death Eater, he felt that it made more sense to merely comply to Voldemort’s views, that he stood no chance in fighting him. In fact, it wouldn’t make sense in Peter’s mind because going against Voldemort meant death, and that was not something Peter was willing to risk. He saw no point in standing up to something so powerful and instead, saw the fruits of working alongside him. There was nothing to be gained by being his enemy, but instead he gained safety from the evil himself by working alongside him. When Sirius exposes Peter in the Shrieking Shack, Peter says:

Peter: "Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord… you have no idea… he has weapons you can’t imagine…. I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen…. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me — He — he was taking over everywhere! Wh — what was there to be gained by refusing him?"

This proves that Peter’s ultimate fear of his own weakness, his own powerlessness against others overcomes him. It completely becomes him, and what chance at bravery and courage he could have taken would now long be diminished. Peter only ever thinks about himself – which certainly suggests that his betrayal to James and Lily was one rooted only in his own self-preservation. He was so terrified that Voldemort would have killed him, that he would have died otherwise, that he inevitably betrayed the friends he may have very well come to care for. He does of course show some little regret later, in sparing Harry’s life, the decision that does inevitably end his own.

Harry: "And you understood Wormtail... you knew he had felt some regret..."

"… he saw the ratlike man’s small watery eyes widen with fear and surprise: He seemed just as shocked as Harry at what his hand had done, at the tiny, merciful impulse it had betrayed, and he continued to struggle more powerfully, as though to undo that moment of weakness…."

It is the only moment of true bravery that Peter shows in the canon, for everything else is driven out of fear.

Peter: “I returned."
Voldemort: "Out of fear. Not loyalty."

Although Peter cared for his friends, he was also very observant of their positive attributes. He knew very well what to say and how to say it in order to get what he wanted. When he is cornered by Sirius and Remus in the Shrieking Shack, he makes a point to tell Harry: James wouldn't have wanted me killed. Your dad - he would have spared me, he would have shown me mercy! Peter uses his memories, uses what will serve him best in the moment, and turns it against others. Bringing up James’ humanity, his mercy, for instance, when confronting Harry is just one example. Whether James would have shown him mercy after the betrayal is unknown, but Peter knows the attributes he found most helpful or most useful in his former friends.

As mentioned before, Peter did a lot of his work for Voldemort out of sheer fear. It would take very little for Peter to be persuaded into joining the Death Eaters, especially as the threat of Voldemort attacking the Wizarding World (no less even thinking about attacking people who were in some way connected to him) became more and more imminent. This fear and cowardice is the sole force behind his willingness to help Voldemort in every task, even when it came to cutting off his own hand. Voldemort states:

Voldemort: "Poor wizard though he is, Wormtail was able to follow the instructions I gave him, which would return me to a rudimentary, weak body of my own..."

And, at the Quidditch World Cup:

Voldemort: "Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go."

Even Voldemort himself recognizes that Peter’s loyalty is not necessarily true – but more a creation of fear and weakness. It is this very weakness that makes Peter one of the most deplorable characters in the books, certainly. Turning against his friends in the moment they most sought his help, and instead assisting a man who wished nothing but pain and destruction upon the Wizarding World. Peter would do anything absolutely necessary to keep in Voldemort’s favor, just as he would do the very same to stay in the favor of his friends in school. Peter is only as strong as those he surrounds himself with, because his own uncertainty, low self-esteem and inability to think completely for himself fill him with a need that could never be fulfilled. If he had the chance to become as powerful as Voldemort, as charming as Sirius, as popular as James, as intelligent as Remus – he likely would, but does not see the capability in himself, only in others. Instead of working hard to attain that himself, to try and better himself, he instead chooses to use what he sees in others to his advantage, at least in the case of his friends. Voldemort, however, is not a commodity to be used, but was rather a defense mechanism that, in some ways, it is likely that Peter regrets. Whether he regrets it or not, he feels bound to the position, for leaving it any point after joining Voldemort’s side, would mean torture and death, something that terrifies Peter more than anything. Even JK Rowling states in an interview:

”He's weak, fundamentally weak. Pettigrew is a very weak character. He's not someone I like at all. He's a weak person and he likes to gravitate to people who are stronger.”

In framing Sirius, unfortunately, Peter may not have found as hard of a time of it as expected. In school, Peter was always the dull, boring and somewhat-stupid boy in their bunch. He wasn’t charming, overly attractive, witty – he was always only along for the ride, keeping close to them for the safety of being their friends. Sure, he came to care in some ways about them, but he did his best to please them out of fear of being their enemy, out of fear of being left without any friends. Despite this, no doubt Peter put up with a lot of grief for being different – likely from Sirius, who he followed around more than anyone. As the books even demonstrate, Sirius was impulsive and more than a little rash when he was younger (i.e: sending Snape to discover a friend-turned-werewolf).

It would be no surprise that Sirius pulled a lot of these jokes and pranks over on Peter, and followed them by trying to brush them off as well-meant jokes. By framing Sirius, Peter not only could showcase his own abilities to be deceptive and, in a manner of speaking, a prankster, he could also showcase the power he would have over Sirius. It could also have been a way for Peter to tell himself that choosing Voldemort’s path was the correct one – Sirius, James and Lily would pay the price, not him. It was obvious, when Peter and Sirius were speaking in the Shrieking Shack during the third book, that Sirius did not value Peter like he valued his other friends either way, and it likely showed in their friendship:

“Lily and James only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it,” Black hissed, so venomously that Pettigrew took a step backward. “I thought it was the perfect plan . . . a bluff. . . . Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you. . . . It must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.”

While Peter did not start off all bad, filled to the brim with negative traits, he certainly had characteristics that only snow-balled into bigger and more complex problems. His poor self-image, his mediocre abilities with magic, his social anxiety, his desperate need to be protected, and his fear/paranoia of what others think and do only served as the root to his larger problems later in life.

Powers/Abilities: Peter first and foremost is a Wizard. While he is not the most talented of wizards, he does have magical ability and can work very hard when he sets his mind to it. Although he is a sixth year, and he does know a variety of spells, many of his skills lie heavily in potions making. He can perform a standard level of magic, and use basic spells, but even some of these will backfire (and most of them inevitably will). However, much of these skills can be undermined by his indecisiveness and uncertainty. He second guesses himself quite often and looks to his friends for guidance, even though they may not always have the best interests in mind for him. However, this power as a wizard has led him to become an animagus, wherein he can take the form of a rat and travel without any obvious detection. He can be clever, but is easily swayed, which is perhaps his biggest weakness of all. It doesn't take much sometimes to win his favor, especially among his group of friends.

Appearance: Peter is a mousy and lumbering fellow. He doesn't have much stature or height and is often lost in crowds. He is incredibly pale, and does not look altogether healthy, but he spends a great deal of time pouring himself over books and running around late at night to play pranks with his friend, and looks genuinely nervous and tired.

1 & 2


Samples:

Actionspam Sample: one & two with a full network post for some cross canon stuff, too. Let me know if you need more recent samples!

Prose Sample:

Sometimes, the jokes rolled over his head just as easy as everything else. But this time, the words stuck to his thick skin, and nagged at the back of his mind. Wormtail. Rat. He was a rat, a worm, and Sirius just loved the way they sounded in his own voice. He wants to say something back, though, to protest because he's none of those things, no matter how funny they seem. He shrugs when James nudges him with an elbow. James to the rescue, of course, and it coaxes the tiniest of smiles from him.

"Nothing's bothering me, Prongs, honest. He was just joking."

Now Peter is a convincing enough liar, but likely not in the eyes of James Potter. He doesn't look at his friend and focuses on the icy cobbles ahead. Hogsmeade was always beautiful this time of year, but the joke has left a bitter taste in his mouth. The air is chilled, winter finally finding its way over the magical world. He liked the way the snow looked, untouched and pristine on old roof tops. Ahead, Sirius laughs, running ahead with Remus and laughing loudly. James stays behind, though, and Peter looks up at him, surprised.

"Why does he --" A breath. Think, Peter. Calm, Peter. It was just a joke, Peter. He repeats this over and over in his head, fingers curling into his palms at his side. A sigh. "Just, just f-forget it."