ataraxion revisions

“Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴀ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ʀᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ, ɪᴛ’s ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴛᴏ ʙᴏᴀsᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ, Pᴇᴛᴇʀ.”

Peter, throughout the books, is depicted through his uncertainty and weakness. He was lucky enough when he arrived at Hogwarts that he fell into being friends with James, Sirius and Remus, who all possess something he does not. Even McGonagall said that he was seen too often trailing behind Sirius. They have charm, wit, courage, strength -- they are essentially polar opposites of Peter. However, this does not necessarily make Peter a bad person to begin with. This self-consciousness and worrisome nature only magnify his need to be socially accepted. He is a social climber, in some ways, always seeking out the best of the best to associate himself with, so that he is out of the line of fire. He is, essentially, a coward. He has all the potential to be brave and courageous like his classmates but, instead, chooses the easier path. Peter, unfortunately, will always choose the path that seems easier, less painful. He had protection with his Marauder friends, why would he stand up to them when they were teasing him? He simply wouldn’t so that he could avoid any possible conflicts.

It takes a lot of fear and selfishness for Peter to betray the Potters. When he decides to turn against the Order, and become a Death Eater, he felt that it made more sense to merely comply to Voldemort’s views, that he stood no chance in fighting him. In fact, it wouldn’t make sense in Peter’s mind because going against Voldemort meant death, and that was not something Peter was willing to risk. He saw no point in standing up to something so powerful and instead, saw the fruits of working alongside him. There was nothing to be gained by being his enemy, but instead he gained safety from the evil himself by working alongside him. When Sirius exposes Peter in the Shrieking Shack, Peter says:

Peter: "Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord… you have no idea… he has weapons you can’t imagine…. I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen…. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me — He — he was taking over everywhere! Wh — what was there to be gained by refusing him?"

This proves that Peter’s ultimate fear of his own weakness, his own powerlessness against others overcomes him. It completely becomes him, and what chance at bravery and courage he could have taken would now long be diminished. Peter only ever thinks about himself – which certainly suggests that his betrayal to James and Lily was one rooted only in his own self-preservation. He was so terrified that Voldemort would have killed him, that he would have died otherwise, that he inevitably betrayed the friends he may have very well come to care for. He does of course show some little regret later, in sparing Harry’s life, the decision that does inevitably end his own.

Harry: "And you understood Wormtail... you knew he had felt some regret..."

"… he saw the ratlike man’s small watery eyes widen with fear and surprise: He seemed just as shocked as Harry at what his hand had done, at the tiny, merciful impulse it had betrayed, and he continued to struggle more powerfully, as though to undo that moment of weakness…."

It is the only moment of true bravery that Peter shows in the canon, for everything else is driven out of fear.

Peter: “I returned."
Voldemort: "Out of fear. Not loyalty."


Although Peter cared for his friends, he was also very observant of their positive attributes. He knew very well what to say and how to say it in order to get what he wanted. When he is cornered by Sirius and Remus in the Shrieking Shack, he makes a point to tell Harry: James wouldn't have wanted me killed. Your dad - he would have spared me, he would have shown me mercy! Peter uses his memories, uses what will serve him best in the moment, and turns it against others. Bringing up James’ humanity, his mercy, for instance, when confronting Harry is just one example. Whether James would have shown him mercy after the betrayal is unknown, but Peter knows the attributes he found most helpful or most useful in his former friends.

As mentioned before, Peter did a lot of his work for VOldemort out of sheer fear. It would take very little for Peter to be persuaded into joinin the Death Eaters, especially as the threat of Voldemort attacking the Wizarding World (no less even thinking about attacking people who were in some way connected to him) became more and more imminent. This fear and cowardice is the sole force behind his willingness to help Voldemort in every task, even when it came to cutting off his own hand. Voldemort states:

Voldemort: "Poor wizard though he is, Wormtail was able to follow the instructions I gave him, which would return me to a rudimentary, weak body of my own..."

And, at the Quidditch World Cup:

Voldemort: "Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go."

Even Voldemort himself recognizes that Peter’s loyalty is not necessarily true – but more a creation of fear and weakness. It is this very weakness that makes Peter one of the most deplorable characters in the books, certainly. Turning against his friends in the moment they most sought his help, and instead assisting a man who wished nothing but pain and destruction upon the Wizarding World. Peter would do anything absolutely necessary to keep in Voldemort’s favor, just as he would do the very same to stay in the favor of his friends in school. Peter is only as strong as those he surrounds himself with, because his own uncertainty, low self-esteem and inability to think completely for himself fill him with a need that could never be fulfilled. If he had the chance to become as powerful as Voldemort, as charming as Sirius, as popular as James, as intelligent as Remus – he likely would, but does not see the capability in himself, only in others. Instead of working hard to attain that himself, to try and better himself, he instead chooses to use what he sees in others to his advantage, at least in the case of his friends. Voldemort, however, is not a commodity to be used, but was rather a defense mechanism that, in some ways, it is likely that Peter regrets. Whether he regrets it or not, he feels bound to the position, for leaving it any point after joining Voldemort’s side, would mean torture and death, something that terrifies Peter more than anything. Even JK Rowling states in an interview:

”He's weak, fundamentally weak. Pettigrew is a very weak character. He's not someone I like at all. He's a weak person and he likes to gravitate to people who are stronger.”

In framing Sirius, unfortunately, Peter may not have found as hard of a time of it as expected. In school, Peter was always the dull, boring and somewhat-stupid boy in their bunch. He wasn’t charming, overly attractive, witty – he was always only along for the ride, keeping close to them for the safety of being their friends. Sure, he came to care in some ways about them, but he did his best to please them out of fear of being their enemy, out of fear of being left without any friends. Despite this, no doubt Peter put up with a lot of grief for being different – likely from Sirius, who he followed around more than anyone. As the books even demonstrate, Sirius was impulsive and more than a little rash when he was younger (i.e: sending Snape to discover a friend-turned-werewolf). It would be no surprised that Sirius pulled a lot of these jokes and pranks over on Peter, and followed them by trying to brush them off as well-meant jokes. By framing Sirius, Peter not only could showcase his own abilities to be deceptive and, in a manner of speaking, a prankster, he could also showcase the power he would have over Sirius. It could also have been a way for Peter to tell himself that choosing Voldemort’s path was the correct one – Sirius, James and Lily would pay the price, not him. It was obvious, when Peter and Sirius were speaking in the Shrieking Shack during the third book, that Sirius did not value Peter like he valued his other friends either way, and it likely showed in their friendship:

“Lily and James only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it,” Black hissed, so venomously that Pettigrew took a step backward. “I thought it was the perfect plan . . . a bluff. . . . Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you. . . . It must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.”


While Peter did not start off all bad, filled to the brim with negative traits, he certainly had characteristics that only snow-balled into bigger and more complex problems. His poor self-image, his mediocre abilities with magic, his social anxiety, his desperate need to be protected, and his fear/paranoia of what others think and do only served as the root to his larger problems later in life.

PB Choice:
I chose Jamie Bell particularly for the fact that he has a very distinct rat-like/mouse-ish look to him. He has the pale skin, the pointed noise, the mousy brown hair, all of which are attributed to Peter both early and later in life. I also liked the awkwardness of Jamie Bell’s expressions, and the range/variety of expressions I could get from his icons. Although the novels to say that he was certainly heavier in his youth, I struggled to find a PB that had both the weight and the rat-like attributes I would want for Peter. When I would find someone I liked, they likely had next to no icons available, and even so were only straight press-shots which do not show range of emotion or expression. If necessary I can also delete any icon that shows anything other than his face as well, I don't mind.

I also found it difficult to find a PB who appeared to be in the correct age range that did not otherwise have a strange hairstyle, glasses, or other accessories that would not suit the character. I found many who would work for an older Peter or a very, very young Peter, but none that seemed to best suit the age range I was trying to achieve. I find the Jamie Bell’s range of emotion and the availability of icons made him the best candidate for the PB. I am more than willing to show his heaviness in my writing, and write him in a different way to better reflect his true image. I also considered Jesse Eisenberg for a PB, but I understand that he, too, does not exactly fit the bill. However, he does have a fuller face, and appears less thin than Jamie Bell does in icons. I am open to suggestions (as I’m also not the best at finding PBs, admittedly, I don’t entirely know where to look outside of places like PB Updates and Wikicon) and am willing to change the PB if necessary, I simply do not have any other alternatives to offer at this very moment. I’ve looked, and will continue to look, if the acceptance of my app is dependent on the PB choice alone.